"When you walk where I am going..."

After the dark cloud of sadness has a few days to pour out its rain I do feel that it blows away for a time to allow the sunshine to pour through. Without the sunshine I would most definitely become lost in a world with no love. But there is love.
I am so happy today. I can hardly believe the opposing emotions that seem to run through my days in a steady pattern. A few days of sadness, one day of overwhelming sadness and tears, and than a few days of unbelievable joy. This pattern of emotions has developed and I am sure that it will change with time. Once that really hard day is over and Jake and I have held each other I am able to feel such gladness. You probably wouldn't think it was possible for me to be so happy on those good days. I am so happy today I feel like my heart will burst.
I was talking to my sister the other day and we got to chatting about how difficult life can be sometimes. But what makes it even harder are the little tricks that Satan uses to discourage us and make us think that there is no hope.
On days like today I feel Micah near me and I feel so much hope and gladness for the future. I want to feel like this everyday. Because of what has just happened I am not sure if that is completely possible but I do want to try.
Yesterday was very difficult and I continually asked myself, "how in the world do I get out of this place?" I didn't know what to do with myself. I spent some time reading Conference talks and one inparticular jumped out at me.
In the talk "Broken Things to Mend" by Elder Holland he said,

"When Andrew and John first heard Christ speak, they were so moved they followed Him as He walked away from the crowd. Sensing He was being pursued, Jesus turned and asked the two men, “What seek ye?” They answered, “Where dwellest thou?” And Christ said, “Come and see.” The next day He found another disciple, Philip, and said to him, “Follow me.”

"It seems clear that the essence of our duty and the fundamental requirement of our mortal life is captured in these brief phrases ...He is saying to us, “Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going,” He says, “we can talk about where you are going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness,” He promises. “I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.”

This is the part that really touched me...


"That night when Christ rushed to the aid of His frightened disciples, walking as He did on the water to get to them, calling out, “It is I; be not afraid.” Peter exclaimed, “Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.” Christ’s answer to him was as it always is every time: “Come,” He said. Instantly, as was his nature, Peter sprang over the vessel’s side and into the troubled waters. While his eyes were fixed upon the Lord, the wind could toss his hair and the spray could drench his robes, but all was well—he was coming to Christ. It was only when his faith wavered and fear took control, only when he removed his glance from the Master to look at the furious waves and the ominous black gulf beneath, only then did he begin to sink into the sea. In newer terror he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Undoubtedly with some sadness, the Master over every problem and fear, He who is the solution to every discouragement and disappointment, stretched out His hand and grasped the drowning disciple with the gentle rebuke, “O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?”

I need to constantly remind myself not to be overcome with discouragement and disappointment. Christ is the Master of all of those problems and it is difficult to not be overcome by the storms and waves crashing around me. Before allowing myself to be consumed in my own grief I need to look to the Lord and follow him.

"Then, when you walk where I am going,” He says, “we can talk about where you are going."