O.K.

Wow!

So many babies.

New born babies born to my friends.

A few of them are Angel Mommies.

I am so happy for them.

Maybe I wouldn't have been a while ago.

I am sure I would have been quite jealous.

But I am undeniably and extremely happy for them.

I have envisioned what that moment would be like.

I have thought about a safe, healthy, living and breathing newborn being placed in my arms.

I have almost felt what that little bundle of perfect

softness would feel like.

Every time I have thought about it I have teared up with happiness.

So today I am utterly happy for what these parents are experiencing. And I have nothing but the kindness thoughts and wishes for them.

Babies are such a divine gift.

I know that more than ever now.

I thought that I would be pregnant by this summer.

I've been to the doctors and we have been "trying".

But we haven't had any luck yet.

I've had to ask myself how I would feel if for some

reason I couldn't get pregnant again.

Of course I would be sad.

But I would also be o.k.

I count myself very lucky to be blessed with two healthy and happy children. And I look forward to one day being reunited with Micah and having the opportunity to mother him.

What a miracle!

I have been blessed three times over.

So I know I will be o.k.

I don't always have to get want I want to be happy.

There is always happiness to be found.

But I have to focus on what I do have instead of what I don't.

But I guess that is the great secret of happy living for every person on this earth.

I am starting to feel a real change.

I am dancing with my kids again.

I am making funny faces with Payton again.

I am laughing at my own lame jokes again.

I am making bread again and actually doing the dishes every day.

I am going to be o.k.

I might even be really happy.